Miserable but predictable / Christmas Shopping Conundrum
The one all draw with Spurs at Old Trafford this weekend left a rain soaked Dunshaughlin Village under a bigger cloud than the cirrus and cumulus grey ones that blotted out the yellow sun from which I normally attribute my superpowers. First off I lost my first transatlantic wager when Jermaine Jenas struck a wonderful free kick past Edwin Van Der Saar as United continued with their season long strategy of pressing the self destruct button in the dressing room at half time.
The problem is Portugese. Carlos Quieroz the second in command at Old Trafford is assuming a more prominent role in the post Galzer power struggle. In this mornings guardian he is quoted as saying , "We know if we defend properly and keep a clean sheet there will be chances to score one goal and we can win the game. And after that win we can get another win. More wins lead to more wins and when you have a couple of 1-0 wins they start to become two, three or four. This is the story of the game."
If you listen closely you can hear the evil laugh that follows this outburst. Gone are the swashbuckling days of yore, when the cavalier knights of Salford, cut and thrust their way through defenses all over europe in the glory crusades that led to a European Cup in the Catalan capital. Gone I say, but gone forever? Please God NO!!
You score 2, we'll score 3. You score 3, we'll score 4. That was the battle cry when Ferguson held the reigns. Now it's more methodical, more scientific, more clinical. My ARSE! It's less artistic, less entertaining, less of everything. The word 'more' doesn't belong at Old Trafford, unless the word immediately following it is disappointment!
The curtailing of the adventurous spirit of the Ronaldo's, Van Nistelrooy's and Rooney's will eventually lead to one thing. Another mediocre season in the exhaust fumes of Chelsea.
It's almost Halloween, which means it's almost the changing of the CD in Dublin's retail outlets. Gone will be the easy listening of Norah Jones, Joss Stone, Sheryl Crow and the poppy ditties of Kylie Minogue, Mariah Carey and Westlife. In will be "The Most Irritating unloved and all time schmaltzy Christmas Songs of all time, from the 50's to the 90's and beyond..ever (except for The Pogues and Kirsty Macoll song)" which is available to buy on a 12 CD set from K-Tel, not available in stores, but have your credit card ready and ring this number now..yadda, yadda, yadda!
So this year, I'm not doing it. No siree Bob. Not subjecting my aural receptors to any Christmas Song's No! This year I will either get a small Hindu boy to stealth shop for my Christmas gifts, or better still, not shop for them at all. So how does one actually pull off this anti-consumerism coup!
The Internet is too easy. Going online to shop is still shopping. A cop out. The Post Office came to mind. You can buy gift vouchers for almost everywhere at the Post Office, but, you are still shopping. I know most females would not even attempt to define a visit to the Post Office as Retail therapy of any description but it is technically shopping.
I could become a non Christian. This turning of the back on the Catholic Religon was actually done decades ago when I sloped off from the morning excursion to mass every Sunday to play street football, so the actual declaration of Atheism wouldn't be too unexpected amongst most of my inner sanctum, but it would kill my mother! I'm not going to have blood on my hands in the quest for a Christmas song free festive season.
So What?
Answer is simple. Stay indoors with an imaginery flu from the 24th December to the 1st January. Go to the stores on January second when the poptastic stylings of Mariah Carey et al have been returned to the in store entertainment roster and buy even cheaper Christmas gifts in the January Sales.
In case you haven't twigged, this is all just bravado, I'll cave just like I do every year and give Marie a list and send her into town and then complain when she won't gift wrap them at 2am on Christmas Eve.
Deck the halls with....
The problem is Portugese. Carlos Quieroz the second in command at Old Trafford is assuming a more prominent role in the post Galzer power struggle. In this mornings guardian he is quoted as saying , "We know if we defend properly and keep a clean sheet there will be chances to score one goal and we can win the game. And after that win we can get another win. More wins lead to more wins and when you have a couple of 1-0 wins they start to become two, three or four. This is the story of the game."
If you listen closely you can hear the evil laugh that follows this outburst. Gone are the swashbuckling days of yore, when the cavalier knights of Salford, cut and thrust their way through defenses all over europe in the glory crusades that led to a European Cup in the Catalan capital. Gone I say, but gone forever? Please God NO!!
You score 2, we'll score 3. You score 3, we'll score 4. That was the battle cry when Ferguson held the reigns. Now it's more methodical, more scientific, more clinical. My ARSE! It's less artistic, less entertaining, less of everything. The word 'more' doesn't belong at Old Trafford, unless the word immediately following it is disappointment!
The curtailing of the adventurous spirit of the Ronaldo's, Van Nistelrooy's and Rooney's will eventually lead to one thing. Another mediocre season in the exhaust fumes of Chelsea.
It's almost Halloween, which means it's almost the changing of the CD in Dublin's retail outlets. Gone will be the easy listening of Norah Jones, Joss Stone, Sheryl Crow and the poppy ditties of Kylie Minogue, Mariah Carey and Westlife. In will be "The Most Irritating unloved and all time schmaltzy Christmas Songs of all time, from the 50's to the 90's and beyond..ever (except for The Pogues and Kirsty Macoll song)" which is available to buy on a 12 CD set from K-Tel, not available in stores, but have your credit card ready and ring this number now..yadda, yadda, yadda!
So this year, I'm not doing it. No siree Bob. Not subjecting my aural receptors to any Christmas Song's No! This year I will either get a small Hindu boy to stealth shop for my Christmas gifts, or better still, not shop for them at all. So how does one actually pull off this anti-consumerism coup!
The Internet is too easy. Going online to shop is still shopping. A cop out. The Post Office came to mind. You can buy gift vouchers for almost everywhere at the Post Office, but, you are still shopping. I know most females would not even attempt to define a visit to the Post Office as Retail therapy of any description but it is technically shopping.
I could become a non Christian. This turning of the back on the Catholic Religon was actually done decades ago when I sloped off from the morning excursion to mass every Sunday to play street football, so the actual declaration of Atheism wouldn't be too unexpected amongst most of my inner sanctum, but it would kill my mother! I'm not going to have blood on my hands in the quest for a Christmas song free festive season.
So What?
Answer is simple. Stay indoors with an imaginery flu from the 24th December to the 1st January. Go to the stores on January second when the poptastic stylings of Mariah Carey et al have been returned to the in store entertainment roster and buy even cheaper Christmas gifts in the January Sales.
In case you haven't twigged, this is all just bravado, I'll cave just like I do every year and give Marie a list and send her into town and then complain when she won't gift wrap them at 2am on Christmas Eve.
Deck the halls with....
posted by Derek Keogh | 11:39 AM
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