World Cup Funnies: #1 Weather

In a first of our series of periodical comedic pieces. This arrived in my mailbox not so long ago. Read right to the end...

40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Ireland sunbathe.
35 degrees - Italian cars won't start. People in Ireland drive with the windows down.
20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Ireland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Ireland go swimming in the sea.
0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on. People in Ireland have a last barby before it gets cold.
-10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct. People in Ireland lick flagpoles.
-20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico. People in Ireland throw on a light jacket.
-100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Ireland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.
-297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.Irish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Ireland start saying "It's a bitin cold ...? "
-500 degrees - Hell freezes over. Irish people support England in the World Cup