The Hibernian Miscellany

Competence(n.):is the ability to perform some task. Incompetence is its opposite. Competency means a sufficiency of means for the useless necessities and conveniences in life.

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Location: Dublin, Ireland

Thursday, March 30, 2006

It won't be long now till we march....

From June 9th this site will be officially turned over to the 2006 FIFA World Cup. We will be hosting the 'bet of the day', match reports, previews and other liquorice allsorts. For the month of June every 4th year the curtains are drawn and the fridge devoid of anything other than multi national beer. Czech beer to cheer on Koller et al, German beer for Ballack's boys, Brahme from the land of Ronaldinho and Adriano, Nastro Azzuro by Peroni from the 'old country', Heineken for the Dutch and Ockicm for The Poles. Every country will be represented in the fridge except for one......

Engerland. Without a doubt the worst beer producing nation on the planet. Another reason (as if we needed one) not to support the engerlish in the finals. Their beer is piss! Fizzy urine laced with chemicals and 100 percent guaranteed hangover. Headache in a 330ml bottle. Every case of Carling Black bloody Label should come with it's free 32 pack of Solpadeine.

I have already nailed my colours to the mast for this tournament and will be getting behind my Dutch brethren, with a sympathetic glance shooting sideways every so often for The Ivory Coast, who's flag is the exact mirror image of the Irish Tricolour. I think Van Basten has the traditionally underachieving Dutch dressing room in hand and we should see, for the first time since 1988, a real desire from the team in orange.

This is also an attempt to foster cross border relations as the orangemen of Ulster draw their protestant roots from The Netherlands and yet nobody seems to care about this. Imagine an Ivory Coast v Holland final. The (sort of) eventual decider of what happens in the North. If Ivory Coast** wins then the North accepts Irish rule. If the Dutch take it*, then the IRA say "fair enough we'll leave yis to your own devices".

Let football pave the way for peace. In 1982 the whole country got behind Northern Ireland in Spain, even though the team was of protestant roots (It was even called The England B team at one stage). So I am calling on a similar effort to get behind the Dutch*. If we can all be orangemen for June then Marching season in July will be pointless. Let's all march together***.


*Holland are 12-1 to win the world cup
**Ivory Coast are 150-1 to win the world cup
***Gerry Adams to march on 12th July with Ian Paisley is somewhat longer odds

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