...What!!?

Dateline: Wednesday 23rd August, 20:44 GMT. I was in the middle of an ordinary evenings football viewing. Chelsea were one up at Middlesboro as usual, It was only a matter of time before Manchester United went one up at Charlton. The woodwork had already denied them on a coupel of occasions and Darren Fletcher had just made his 187th incomplete pass of the game....

Business as usual.

Then the phone rang.

"This is NO JOKE,", came the voice on the end of the phone, quavering slightly. "Roy Keane is the new manager of Sunderland!". .

Something funny was happening. Was Superman doing his big lap of the globe and dirupting some temperal flux of cosmic jiggidy joobies? Roy Keane? Reporting directly to Niall Quinn!!!! The Sunderland chairman who famously backed McCarthy in the Saipan incident. The spineless coward who sat back and watch ireland's greatest player sent home from what would have been the crowning glory of his football career. The beanpole 'Mother Teresa' who was the subject of much of Keane's post-Saipan vitriol!!! Something is screwed up. Bobby Ewing was about to walk out of the shower.

Then Darren Fletcher scored. I passed out.

I came to with just over ten minutes to play. United were cruising to an easy win. Louis Saha had made it two nil, then the scoreflash came on the bottom of the screen. Middlesboro had equalised against Chelski! Just when I thought things were as far off the sanity plane as they possibly could get, up steps a big fat Australian named Mark Viduka, and sealed a Middlesboro win in the 90th minute.

Chelsea beaten, Fletcher scores, United three points clear of Chelsea at the top of the table, and Roy Keane's PRSI number on the same paypath sheet as Niall Quinn's! I need to lie down.....