The Hibernian Miscellany

Competence(n.):is the ability to perform some task. Incompetence is its opposite. Competency means a sufficiency of means for the useless necessities and conveniences in life.

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Location: Dublin, Ireland

Monday, October 09, 2006

Grand Theft Football

Cigarette ash all over my light grey t-shirt on Friday evening. The effect on a passer by would be to look at me as if i was inebriated and shuffling my way home from Dunshaughlin Village after some post work drinking binge centred around absynth and Guinness.

Well, the passer by would be wrong on all counts. The far away look in my eye and the rubbed in cigarette ash was because I was coming to terms with a shocking truth about myself. In my late thirties I had finally become a non believer. A veritable shell of a man. A soulless wastrel, dragging my thirty pieces of silver home to my doomed conscience. I had backed CYPRUS to beat Ireland to the tune of 7-1!

I did not take this decision lightly. I had wrestled with my conscience all day. I had thrown mental daggers at the 'thick ignorant' manager spawned by John Delaney as Saddam Hussein to his Satan (see Southpark the movie). He had left me no choice. I turned on them, on my national team. I wagered my very identity as an Irish football supporter on them to be beaten. How could I live with myself?

Well, enough of the amateur dramatics and the over blowing of a mere sporting occasion into biblical proportions. I'm not Andy Gray after all. My defense is that I did it for the greater good. I cheered on the Cypriot part timers because I knew it would take something THIS BIG to end the reign of Delaney and Staunton. If it doesn't, then you are all to blame. When Brian Kerr brought Roy Keane back to Ireland, I thought we had a future. I thought we were getting over ourselves and that the culchie mentality of the past was being abandoned in favour of a more mature adult approach to governing our national team. I was wrong...

It's overhaul time. Minister for Sport John Donoghue needs to step in. Take the funding away until the house is in order. Hit them where it hurts, in the pockets. It would guarantee his re-election in six months time.

I'm hoping to go to the final match at Lansdowne Road next Wednesday, when we play host to the Czech republic. I didn't think I'd be cheering for the opposition though. Staunton and Delaney have stolen my football team from me. They've robbed me of the chance to cheer on an Irish side that holds the values I believe in. I've stood alone on the North Terrace on wet Wednesday afteroons in the early eighties to watch underachieving teams under John Giles and Eoin Hand. I basked in the glory of the Charlton years. Stood by the remaining squad after they treated Roy Keane so badly in Saipan. All this for nothing. The Fai (by the FAI I mean Delaney) has fucked us all, by landing us with a half decent golfer and sycophant from Dundalk. A man, with no managerial expertise. A man with no panache. A man devoid of charm. A man who's stubborn and ignorant. A man who commands absolutely no authority or respect. A man with a minimal grasp of the english language. A man who who has all the hallmarks of a trainee manager in SuperValu. A man who is frightened to call up Lee Carsley because he is frightened of having his authority undermined. A man who only feels secure when he is barking incomprehensible Dundalk curses at eighteen year olds. A man Roy Keane would have eaten for breakfast. A man? No. A charlatan.

I'm getting upset now. Time to lie down...

Staunton/Delaney MUST GO!

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